1) There's a reason why I like minivans: all the crack, AK-47s and Moldovan schoolgirls that fit inside.
2) I value people's differences. If you're a socialist, I value that difference as negative.
3) When I'm old, I'll want to relive the past - including the battle of Mohács.
4) I believe Gutenberg gave us books, Darwin gave us monkeys, and Jesus gave us the lower-case "t".
5) If you're in love with a cigarette machine, that's just Stockholm syndrome.
6) Now that I live in Vienna - I waltz the line.
7) I wish I had more Jewish friends, so I'd have something to counter allegations of antisemitism.
8) I hold a doctorate in wiring money from the University of Nizhny Novgorod.
9) I will pay my church tax dues once those Nigerian millions pour in.
10) I like honesty, especially when it comes to PIN numbers.
11) I was very premature as a child. When the others had imaginary friends, I had an imaginary girlfriend. And still do.
12) Later on, she took up residence in my right hand.
x) Not even this trainwreck can damage my trust in my sense of humour.
No comments:
Post a Comment